Baptism by Fire

As I stated in my previous post, my first assignment as a substitute teacher was Monday morning. I was placed in charge of about twenty-five 4th graders at Garden City Elementary School. And as the title of this post indicates, my day was anything but a smooth entry into the world of public education. For once I'll spare you all the gritty details and hit the highlights.

The day was off to a tumultuous start when I discovered that the regular teacher had left absolutely no lesson plans. "No worries," I thought. "This situation was covered in orientation. Just go find the other 4th grade teacher and ask for help." This teacher, Mrs. Moler, informs me that, as of that very same day, the entire school had shuffled the order of classes and that she wasn't even sure what her own lesson plan was going to look like that day. She gave me whatever ideas she could, but those ideas weren't going to fill up 6.5 hours of class time.

Thanks to what was certainly nothing less than an act of divine intervention, the kids' first class was "special class." On Mondays they have music with Mr. Miller for the better part of an hour, giving me some free time to track down a neighboring teacher to seek further advice. Ms. Grimmet, the 3rd grade teacher next door, was exceedingly helpful. Together, she and I pilferred through the scant few notes the front office had left us, along with my class' regular text books, and patched together a respectable itinerary. Now I had a schedule of lessons to teach, and my confidence that this day would pan out well began to build.

Then came the unnounced bus safety presentation. As I was leading my kids back from music to what I thought would be math class, Ms. Grimmet intercepts me and tells me that we're all supposed to meet in her room for said presentation. Neither she nor Mrs. Moler had been told this event would be going down. So before I've written my first sample problem on the board, these children are triply exicited by the morning's manifold novelties...there's a new schedule, a spontaneous informational meeting and, finally, the baby-faced Irishman ostensibly leading them through this transgression of routine.

I never got the kids calmed down. Only a handful were outright disrespectful. Several were a actually big help, but several more were simply a pain in the ass. And then the unexpected just kept breaking in.

By days end, I had written up two kids for fighting and one of those same kids for defiance. I'd sent four kids to the nurse, two of which were sent home. I had one kid who felt compelled to beat box during our review of compound subjects. I had another girl who felt inclined to call people "crackhead." Then there was little Xavier, an adorable Mexican boy (and by Mexican I mean, barely spoke english) who nevertheless lacked the ability to respect the personal space of others. Ultimately, nothing caught fire and the room looked clean when everyone left for the afternoon. I guess that means I did my job well enough.

The day was not good but it wasn't awful either. The other teachers were wonderful and the helpful children were an invaluable asset for a first-time substitute at an unfamiliar school. I did experience the short-lived buzz that comes with the discovery that a 10 year-old feels validated by your attention. I also experienced the awkward flattery of 4th grade girls flashing me goo-goo eyes.

(You won't believe the picture this one kid drew for me. I'm going to have Susan scan it for me at her work so I can post it later in the week. It should be up by Friday.)

Today's class went much better. I'll tell you about it tomorrow after I've spent another day with the same group of 3rd graders.

I will close this rushed and disjointed post by sharing the most entertaining exchange I had with a student during Monday's adventures.


Mr. Scott: Ok class, please open your math books to Lesson 18.
Kid: But Mr. Hiatt don't want us to use our math books no more.
Mr. Scott: Are you serious? Why not?
Kid: He don't believe in it.

Maybe by that point in the day I was desperate for laughter but, at the time, I thought that last line was hilarious.