Dark Campaign

As many of you know, the only entertainment awards show I still give a rip about is the Oscars. But this Movie Year, I saw pretty much none of the movies that are getting the most Oscar buzz, and the more I read the hype about most of those films, the less I want to see any of them. Of the movies I DID see, "The Dark Knight" was the one I thought was most solid through and through. I'm not going to give a case here for why I thought that was. Instead I want to remind those of you who might share my opinion that films based on comic book aren't exactly popular with the Academy. Sure, they certainly stand more of a chance in this post-"Return of the King" world, but the very idea of a movie like "The Dark Knight" being nominated for Best Picture is outright laughable to the self-styled "serious" moviegoer.

The following video comes from Dark Campain,"an unofficial grassroots effort" aimed at bringing the movie the Oscar attention its organizers believe it deserves. Take a look at it and consider joining the campaign's group on Facebook. I just did.

I have witnessed the Obama-non

Here's a random (and brief!) piece of reflection I just shared with a Facebook friend regarding last night's presidential election results. See what you think of it.


In thinking about how this election panned out, my mind keeps going to the NBA. It's like American is a struggling franchise that's had a losing regular season record and missed the playoffs several years in a row. It has a lottery pick as a result, yet only a modest amount of cap space available to dabble in free agency. They could try to solve their personel problems by bringing in a solid yet aging veteran (McCain) who's not likely to make a huge impact on the team's situation but the GM and coach know what they're getting. Or they could place their hopes on a high-profile draft pick (Obama) whose college career points to huge potential but whose ability to be a great pro isn't certain. The franchise, at the end of its rope after years of poor team performance, goes with the high potential rookie over the aging but solid veteran. The people in the front office are taking a risk, but if the draft pick lives up to his potentional, the best possible results will be realized.

I'm Still Alive...

...and I'm really damn busy. So my blog is "mostly dead." Sorry, folks. At least it's still "slightly alive." Hopefully you're linked up to me through Facebook so you get at least random tidbits of what I've been doing, thinking, and feeling since the quarter started. To be honest, it's not likely that I'll resume regular posting before December.

FYI, I have a presentation due in a week, a German proficiency exam in just under two weeks, a brief respite and then the madness of finals; two, 15-20 page term papers to write and a lecture on Kant to give as part of my gig as a TA. On a note related to that last comment, I just finished my first ever round of paper grading, and I've learned I care far too much about my students. In the name of protecting my personal time and sanity, I cannot devote 30 or more minutes to every midterm I grade. God bless the prof I'm working with for splitting the pile with me.

Anywho...That's all I've got for now.

Two Generous Spirits

First thing this morning, I received a surprise that blew my mind and overflowed my heart with joy. To honor the two generous spirits responsible for this blessing, I thought I would share the original e-mail containing the news and the response I sent back to them just moments ago. These two messages say it all (except for specific figures, which I have removed in the name of good taste).

Original Message

Good morning, Dave,

Perry will be depositing $x into your checking account today or tomorrow. This is a gift from us. We just felt like blessing you and Whit for your academic achievements. Love you!

Susan


Response
WOW! Thanks to both of you! That is a tremendous gift. The gift of $x you two gave me [two weeks ago] has already proved to be a great blessing in helping me cover my expenses. You can easily imagine how this substantially larger gift will do considerably more than help me make ends meet over the next several months. Your loving gesture has filled my heart with warmth and my eyes with tears.

I don't know what else to say other than that whatever academic success I have had would never have been possible without Susan and Perry Christian. Not only did you provide me with 6 years of excellent education in private schools, but I have come to depend on your guidance and hospitality throughout my higher education. And you did it all without ever being obligated to do any of it. I am proud to claim both of you as my parents. This substantial, monetary gift is but a visible symbol of the enormous amounts of love, help, and wisdom both of you have freely given me over the last 14 years. I hope I have been able to provide you with something of comparable worth in return, both up till now and in the future.

Much, much love,
Dave

Minor Changes

To those who pay attention to my sidebars (perhaps at least one of you does):

-"Lyric Box" has become "Quotable Notables." The content of this feature will now include more than simply excerpts from songs. Any type of statement I find striking may now appear there.

-"The Last Twenty Movies I've Watched" has been cut back to "The Last Ten." This change has been motivated by the philosophy that "sometimes less is more." Once again, the reason for maintaining the sidebar at all is to keep my friends aware of what this lover of films has most recently viewed. This way, if you are inclined to ask my opinion about a movie you yourself have viewed or are contemplating viewing, my list can serve as an means for starting a conversation.


Regarding another recent change: I finally posted the reviews on Quentin Tarantino and Philosophy and Lullaby I previously promised to provide.

The Always Funny "Rampage"

This Saturday, July 5th, UFC 86: Jackson vs. Griffin will be airing live on PPV. The main event is a Light Heavyweight Championship fight between Quinton "Rampage" Jackson, reigning champ and the #1-ranked, 205-lb mixed martial artist in the world, and Forrest Griffin, the first-ever 205-lb winner of the UFC's reality show The Ultimate Fighter and undeniably the most popular personality ever to come off that program.

Those who have followed the sport closely in recent years know that Rampage is also the reigning "King of the Interview." There is no one else in the sport of MMA as consistently laugh-out-loud funny as this man. Maybe no one else in sports period. To give a prime example of the man's wit, here is a comment he makes in the online preview video for Saturday's title clash (see 86.ufc.com):


"I'm the champion. I wanna keep my championship belt. I wanna be the best fighter that the UFC has ever seen. If anyone tell me I'm not gonna win this fight, they can kiss my natural black ass. And my ass is naturally black. I'm tellin' ya."


I just encountered this quote this morning and was compelled to share.


As a visual example of Rampage's other hilarious antics, here is a photo of him from the weigh-in of UFC 75:

Those are some colorful drawers.

Pictures of My Girlfriend...and Her Wonderful New Haircut

It has occurred to me that many of you do not know what my girlfriend Elizabeth Coody looks like despite the fact we've been dating for several months now. Those of you on Facebook have had access to photos of her beautiful person but not others, due mostly to my own negligence in keeping this blog up-to-date. Without further delay, I present to you some high quality pics of a high quality woman.

Here Elizabeth is using the label on a stairwell door of the local art museum to identify her cultural and genetic heritage.



This shows the two of us striking a pose during a tasting at the local winery.

On June 13th, Elizabeth got the haircut she'd been desperately wanting for many months. She has received nothing but high praise since losing ten inches of her locks.

I have been especially pleased with her new look. Not only is it aesthetically pleasing (in other words: fly) but now her neck is exponentially more kissable and I no longer get ensnared in her hair when we nap together.

Finally: Her new 'do in action! Elizabeth pets a goat at the annual wool market held in Estes Park, CO.

Choke

Just yesterday I completed my third Chuck Palahniuk novel of the summer. My friend Dave Winters, who is both an English teacher and the most loyal reader of Palahniuk's novels I know, told me that Choke is the funniest of the man's books. Compared to the other three books I've experienced, I'd have to say Dave is right.

Despite its laugh-out-loud level of funniness, I found myself disappointed with the overall story of the novel. That is, until I reached page 270. The turn that occurs on this page begins bringing all the threads and themes of this book together in an excellent way. It also provided me a laugh so profound that I cackled for two minutes straight and for another whole minute later in the day when I recalled what I had read hours before. You might say that the entire book builds up to this one fantastic gag. The remaning 23 pages clarify the "message" the author seeks to convey through this book. The ending of the book not only validates all the content that comes before; it is also satisfying in and of itself. 4 out of 4 stars.

As for a summary of the book's setting, I don't think I could do any better than the one provided on the back cover: "Victor Mancini, a medical-school dropout, is an antihero for our deranged times. Needing to pay elder care for his mother, Victor has devised an ingenious scam: he pretends to choke on pieces of food while dining in upscale restaurants. He then allows himself to be 'saved' by fellow patrons who, feeling responsible for Victor's life, go on to send checks to support him. When he's not pulling this stunt, Victor cruises sexual addiction recovery workshops for action, visits his addled mom, and spends his days working at a colonial theme park."

.

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If my summer reading is to include yet another novel by Palahniuk, I anticipate that it will be Fight Club. It is Palahniuk's first and most famous novel, and Dave Winters tells me it is still his best. Given how much I have enjoyed books like Choke and Lullaby, Fight Club has to be pretty damn excellent. The only reason I've stayed away from it thus far is that I've seen David Fincher's film adaptation of the book many, many times.

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One final tidbit about Choke: A film version of the novel will be released in late September.

Summer, Summer, Summer Ti-iiime!

[Blogger's Note: Reviews for the last two books covered by this post were added on 6/29/2008.]

So I survived the end of my first year of Ph.D. classes. The last quarter went the easiest of this year's terms, though it wasn't a cake walk by any stretch. It took me pulling a near-all-nighter to finish my Heidegger final paper on time, but I did! I finished '07-'08 with a couple of A's and maintained the first 4.0 GPA I've ever had in my life. Next year's challenge will be whether or not I can maintain this level of performance while beginning my work as a Teacher's Assistant. I should also mention that I was surprisingly nominated and- even more surprisingly -elected to an At-Large position on the Ph.D. student council. I don't know what I'll be doing, but at this stage, I simply hope it doesn't take up too much time. :)

My summer officially began at 10am on June 6th when I turned in the aformentioned paper, and since then I've been a busy little bee. I've mostly been reading...that's right!...reading for pleasure. In the last two weeks, I've finished four books. Here are some concise "reviews" of the texts that have been occupying me during the summer thus far.

With World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War, author Max Brooks transitions from the full-on humor of The Zombie Survival Guide to pure fiction. Despite the necessarily gruesome details that crop up from time to time throughout the book, the work as a whole may not qualify as "horror." Brooks spends most of his time talking, not about the specific antics of the undead, but about how the world's nations deal with the mass panic, rampant misinformation, and societal breakdown that follow the outbreak of zombie-ism on a massive scale. As the title suggests, the book is arranged in the form of interviews with persons who survived the Zombie Apocalypse. The list of witnesses span a diverse range, from a teenage computer hacker in Japan to a general in the South African army to the former Vice-President of the United States. Brooks' careful consideration of how the world might react to a global epidemic of disease and violence, coupled with his impressive attention to detail, make the not-so-distant future he envisions highly believable. This book is fantastic, far exceeding the great expectations I had for it. And given how much I enjoyed The Zombie Survival Guide, that's quite the compliment to (the man I have been told is) the son of Mel Brooks. 4 out of 4 stars.

I've just learned this morning that an abridged version of World War Z has been recorded as an Audio Book featuring a full cast of voice actors. Among the talent collected for this project are Alan Alda, Carl Reiner, Rob Reiner, Das Boot's Jurgen Prochnow, John Turturro, my main man Henry Rollins, and Luke Skywalker himself: Mark Hamill. I'm going to have to check this out.

Survivor, published in 1999, comes from the pen of Chuck Palahniuk (pronounced paul-UH-nick), author of Fight Club. The story is told from the prespective of Tender Branson, whose lucrative stint as a religious personality in popular culture has just come to an abrupt and disreptuable end. Branson is the last surviving member of the apocalyptic Creedish cult colony. Having spent several years in the "outside world" as a missionary of sorts, Branson receives word that the Creedish leaders recently declared that "the end is here" and the entire colony "delivered" itself to God through mass-suicide. As one of the hundreds of Creedish who were sent out into the world, part of Branson's religious training is that, upon receiving news of the colony's demise, he should immediately deliver himself over as well. But he's enjoying his time in the world too much to end things so soon.

Branson's decision to defer self-termination turns his life into an everyday experience of guilt and self-condemnation. When he becomes the last Creedish known to be alive, Branson gets pulled in by a fast-talking agent who makes him the face of a pre-fabricated, multi-million dollar media campaign. As unsettling as the dramatic lifestyle change proves to be for Branson, it is not his only cause for concern. He suspects that several of the most recent Creedish suicides were not exactly voluntary. Once he begins receiving threatening phone calls, he becomes convinced that many of his religious kin have been murdered by someone with intimate knowledge of the cult and that Tender Branson is likely the killer's next victim. I really dug the outlines of Creedish life and teaching Palahniuk creates for Survivor. Yet, in regards to plot, I thought the second half of the book did not fulfill the potential developed in the first half. The book's climax was neverthless satisfying. 3 out of 4 stars.

Not only is this text both intellectually stimulating and written for the non-specialist, it will bring to light details about the story and characters of Tarantino's films you may have overlooked. There is also more than one quotation drawn from the original scripts...material that was cut before principle photography began but is nevertheless illuminating and enjoyable. The only reason(s) I am not giving the book a full four stars is that at least two of the essays are not as clear or organized as they should have been, and the volume as a whole contains far too many typographical errors for a book with not one but two editors. 3.5 out of 4 stars.

I enjoyed this book so much I read it cover to cover in about 36 hours. Better than Survivor or Rant (the other Palahniuk book I've experienced up to this point) yet not quite as satisfying a read as Choke. Nevertheless, an engaging novel. I think the book's greatest strengths are its basic premise and its narrative structure. Its only real weakness is that the polemic Palahniuk communicates through the story isn't articulated with as much skill as those in Choke or Fight Club. (I only have the movie version to draw on where the latter book is concerned. However, given what Palahniuk says in conversation with screenwriter Jim Uhls in a DVD commentary, the author seems to think that the film sufficiently captures the spirit of its source material).

On a related note, the thematic climax of the book seems, in no small way, to undercut its dramatic climax. With only ten or so pages left, I had the sense that the trajectory of the plot was going to require another act in order to provide the confrontation between protagonist and antagonists the book seemed to be building toward. To Palahniuk's credit, the climax he does provide stands as a genuine resolution. It simply is not of the sort I had anticipated, and my vivid imagination had me psyched up for one hell of a dramatic climax. :)

At the end of the day, this is the author's creation and not mine, and I respect his creative choices. The book he has written is excellent and well worth your time. 3.5 out of 4 stars.

The Colts' 2008 Schedule

http://www.colts.com/sub.cfm?page=schedule

I was just checking this out the other day during a study break. Here are some quick observations from yours truly. In addition to the given Divisional match-ups against Jacksonville, Tennessee, and Houston, Peyton & Co. will:

+Play the entire AFC North: Cincinnatti, Pittsburgh, Baltimore, and Cleveland.
+Play the entire NFC North, including a season opener against Chicago, games against Minnesota and Detriot, as well as a clash with the now Favre-less Green Bay.

+Once again host New England (November 2nd's Sunday Night Game).
+Once again travel to San Diego (November 23rd's Sunday Night Game).
+Have their bye week early (Week 4). This disappoints me a little. I always prefer my team(s) to have a bye closer to mid-season.

Looks like another tough season for the boys in blue. We will have to play pretty much all the best teams our superior conference has to offer while still competing in the league's toughest division. Should be fun to watch!

...unless, of course, this is the year that Jacksonville finally passes us up. Then it will be horribly unfun to watch, and I will be tempted to gouge out my eyes rather than watch a second of those Jaguar jerkheads celebrating victory over my team. Then again, let's be honest, Jack Del Rio. You will never get the better of the Indianapolis Colts. All that really remains for history to reveal is what lame excuse you and your players will make up when we thump you this season.

The Skullet

"It's Nature's mullet."

I said this on Thursday evening at my Ph.D. program's Spring Soiree. Elizabeth and I were still laughing about it the next day. If you're unfamiliar with this follicle phenomenon, there is a prime example of one to the left. For a more popular example, picture Hulk Hogan without his bandana.

Party in the back. Vacancy in the front.

Breaking the Extended Silence

So it's been over three months since my last post. Sorry about that, folks. I've been updating the sidebars of this weblog regularly, but no new messages. For the last four weeks, that's mostly had to do with the fact that my laptop needs some work done on it. But the previous two months were due to pure negligence on my part.

To give you a few quick tidbits about what's happened to me since February 19th:

1) I've been dating a woman named Elizabeth for (officially) 2.5 months now. She's a beautiful, 24 year-old product of Shreveport, Louisiana, and she's currently enrolled in the MA program at Iliff School of Theology. I will certainly share more about her in the near future.

2) On June 6th, a week from tomorrow, I will turn in my last term paper of the quarter. That means my first academic year as a Ph.D. student will be over. I had a 4.0 GPA coming into this quarter (the first time in my life I've had this flawless statistic on my academic progress report), and the Spring course I've already completed all the requirements for should not detract away from that sterling factoid. The remaining paper will be a difficult exercise in philosophy and may very well return me to the land of the 3.9's.

3) My summer plans are simple: Study a lot of German so I can pass my program's required language exam in the fall; read, read, read; and visit Indiana for about a month. At this point, it looks like I will be making the trip home sometime during the first two weeks of July and then remaining in the Hoosier state until early August. An honest factor in my decision making process is whether I'd prefer to watch UFC 86 with my Indiana friends or UFC 87. :)

4) The new Indiana Jones movie is good. Not awesome, mind you, but a worthy addition to the series. I give it 2.5 out of 4 stars, and 3 out of 4 starts on my guilty pleasure scale. If you're interested in seeing it but not sure if you should shell out the seven to ten dollars, I encourage you to shell away. I more strongly encourage you to watch No Country for Old Men on DVD. It's every bit as good as it's been hyped up to be.

5) I've discovered a fantastic (progressive?) metal band: Between the Buried and Me. Their music makes me think of Dream Theater, Sepultura, and Radiohead seemlessly united into one impressive entity. Since January, I've digested three of their albums and have enjoyed each one thoroughly.

That's enough randomness for now. FYI, I check my Facebook account every day. Contact me their if you'd like to re-establish contact with me.

The Power of the Lesnar

On February 3, I met a friend at a local, non-Hooters watering hole to view UFC 81: Breaking Point. The main event featured an interim heavyweight title collision between former Pride Heavyweight Champion Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira and 2-time former UFC Heavyweight Champion Tim Sylvia. Despite their supposed headliner status, images of Nogueira and Sylvia made only brief appearances in adds for the event, if they made any appearance at all.

That is because all the hype for the event was centered on the UFC debut of former pro-wrestling superstar Brock Lesnar. Prior to UFC 81, Lesnar had only fought one MMA bout which, to his credit, he won in under 2 minutes. However, given the fact that his victory came at the expense of an obvious tomato can (who was himself a last-minute replacement for Korean circus attraction Hong Man Choi), many hardcore mixed martial arts fans vocally protested teh fact that a 1-0 "sports entertainer" was being pushed so hard so soon. The UFC brass buttressed the fans' inclination to cheer against Lesnar when they matched him up against one of the organization's former heavyweight champions Frank Mir. For many, Lesnar was the UFC's shameless attempt to court Pay-Per-View buys over Super Bowl weekend by bringing in someone that WWE fans unfamiliar with MMA would likely want to see irrespective of his fighting credentials. By contrast, offering support for Mir became a means for established fight fans to show their solidarity with real athletes.

Moments before Lesnar and Mir locked horns, I was still marveling at Lesnar's physical presence inside the Octagon. Now I closely followed Lesnar's entire 2-year run in the WWE, and saw him performing at 290 lbs on pretty much a weekly basis. But when you always see him going up against the 500-lb Big Show or even the 310-lb Hulk Hogan, the sheer mass of Brock Lesnar is easily lost in context. Two weeks ago, Brock weighed in at 265 lbs- the maximum one can weigh and compete as a heavyweight -and I betcha he cut a few pounds to make that. Frank Mir tipped the scales at a solid 255 but the staredown during the referee's final instructions made it clear the ex-champ was comparatively undersized. Adding further mystic to Lesnar's physicality, reports circulated in the days before the fight that the UFC had to special order XXXL gloves for him because the XXL gloves were so tight on his hands that scissors were required to remove them. In the seconds before the opening bell rang, the PPV production team made sure to showcase the WWE personalities at ringside, which included Stone Cold Steve Austin and known MMA aficianado The Undertaker.

Lesnar took the center of the cage with a mix of intensity and control. He took Mir down quickly and began reigning down heavy punches and hammer fists. Mir, a Brazilian jujitsu black belt, tried to pull himself close to Lesnar and get his massive opponent in his guard lest he be decapitated by strikes. While tucking his head close in to Lesnar's chest, Mir (according to referee Steve Mazagatti) received several illegal blows to the base of his skull. The ref calls time out, stands the fighters up, and instructs the judges to deduct one point from Lesnar on their score cards. The fight has only been going on for about 50 seconds.

Upon resuming action, Lesnar lands another fast takedown and Mir is once again attempting to pull guard. Lesnar is so damn strong that he simply pushes Mir flat on his back. Mir tweaks his strategy and makes an attempt to catch one of Brock's arms in a submission hold. He fails. Mir makes a second attempt at an armbar and Lesnar defends by standing straight up with his legs spread wide. The crafty Mir makes an instantaneous adjustment and wraps his entire person around Lesnar's leg, simultaneously sweeping Brock off his feet and securing a leg lock. Brock isn't too proud to tap before his knee is ripped apart. Mir spoils the former WWE champion's UFC debut, winning by knee bar. For all the fight's intensity and drama, it ends just 1 minute and 30 seconds into Round 1.

I must confess I was pulling for Mir in this fight but not for the sorts of reasons discussed above. Mir is a unique fighter: a big heavyweight with slick jujitsu. I like that about him. He's also cheerable because he's on the comeback trail. Not long after he won the title in the summer of '04, he was in a motorcycle accident and suffered a broken femur. The UFC eventually stripped Mir of his belt when it became unclear whether he would ever fight again. When he did resume fighting, Mir looked unimpressive and sometimes out of shape. Because success came to him easily early on, he's never had the greatest work ethic. Rushing back from a near career-ending injury didn't help his performances either. Before the Lesnar fight, Mir blew through Antoni Hardonk in under 2 minutes and fans began speculating that the "old" Frank Mir was back. This story felt too good for me to cheer for Lesnar over Mir.

Brock looked good though, even in defeat. He's ridiculously strong, amazingly fast for a man his size, and his solid amature wrestling background was evident in this fight. He's training with the same camp in Minnesota that former UFC Lightweight Champion Sean Sherk trains in, and he displayed a humility and poise in his post-fight interviews that I never saw him exhibit during his pro-wrestling career. The UFC also gave him a tough match-up in his debut. Wrestlers new to MMA are typically susceptible to submissions and Mir is one of the best submission artists in the division. Brock Lesnar has a future in the UFC if he maintains humility and dedication in his MMA training. Expect the UFC to give him an "easier" opponent in his next bout, like an average stand-up fighter with little to no ground game. Hopefully the casual fans saw how dominant Brock was for 85 of 90 seconds, and will pay to watch him again. They certainly paid up this time. Estimates are that UFC 81 did 650,000 PPV busy, making in the 3rd most watched UFC PPV ever.



Oh yeah...Nogueira defeated Sylvia with a guillotine choke in the third round of the main event to become the first man to hold a championship belt in Pride and the UFC. If you were looking solely at the mainstream sports media, you would have no idea that Nog's amazing comeback performance ever took place.

Undefined Fascination

I'm sure the all-too-regular apologies I offer for not updating this blog frequently enough have grown stale. I've had several topics I've felt worth mentioning recently: I visited Casa Bonita (the Disneyland of Mexican restaurants), I was in the same room as Bill Clinton, I witnessed former WWE Champion Brock Lesnar make his UFC debut, I decided in a moment of intense self-deprication that I would like to be rid of my literal skin, and I saw No Country for Old Men just the other day. However, I've not shared any of this within the forum of the Kingdom, so maybe a series of bite-sized posts is on the way.

For the moment, I would just like to share the lyrics to a song I've been listening to quite a bit over the past several weeks. I can't precisely identify what it is I like so much about this song. All I know is the headspace it puts me in seems like a place I need to be right now.

The song is "40 Miles from the Sun" off of Bush's album The Science of Things. Bush is a band I've liked a lot for a long time but, for whatever reason, don't talk much about...even with myself. Here are the words, just to give you all a sense of what it may be that's put the hook in me as of late.

"there is nowhere left to hide
there is nothing to be done
no people to be saved
no pets we've never named

40 miles from the sun

as darkness craves the mind
we come undone without our pride
no time on earth to come
all the pleasures just begun

40 miles from the sun

in our coats beneath the layers
wash my skin of all the hate
we should sleep late
everything just kind of grates

40 miles from the sun

i need to lose to make it right
i'll confront the stars tonight
i will babble i will bite
you'll never know how much you shine

40 miles from the sun"


As I prepared to write this post, I wondered whether the image of being 40 miles from the sun resonates with me in the same way the last few lines of the following Soundgarden song have always resonated with me. For twelve years, I've continually turned to this song in moments of mellowness or even sadness...times when "something" seems out of joint or has failed to live up to expectations. "Boot Camp" has always stood for me as a reminder that even when the world seems irredeemably confounding, or even outright shitty, there remains a flicker of hope in me. Like "40 Miles from the Sun" the descriptions are poetic and most the lines have their impact in the absence of any clear logical sense. Again, it just transports me to a place most songs can't.

"I must obey the rules
I must be tame and cool
No staring at the clouds
I must stay on the ground
In clusters of the mice
The smoke is in our eyes
Like babies on display
Like angels in a cage
I must be pure and true
I must contain my views

There must be something else
There must be something good
Far away
Far away from here
Far away
Far away from here
?I'll be here for good?
For good"

I can only speculate as to why either of these songs call out to me at this moment in my life.

Self-Deception in Self-Improvement

[Blogger's Note: I just reread this post and corrected several grammatical errors and other typos along the way. Now it should be easier to get past my writing flaws in order to consider the ideas I set forth. Though I use myself as an illustration of what I am describing, my primary aim is to articulate something the reader can identify in her or his own life experience. 1/27/2008]

Problem #1: Everyone has something they want to change about themselves that they spend too much time worrying about or trying to correct.

Problem #2: Everyone has something they should change about themselves that they spend too little time worrying about and trying to correct.

If I've understood the human condition accurately, not only are these two statements true, but it is also the case that it is our consistent inability to categorize our personal attributes properly that produces our failure to direct our attention and energy towards their most appropriate object. In other words, those of us concerned with becoming "better people," struggle to identify those aspects of our personality or behavior that we should change if we are to accomplish our goal of being less selfish, more sensitive to others, more likeable or however you chose to define "better" in your own situation. Speaking for myself, my failures of self-assessment nearly always find their source in one of two dispositions: need for approval or denial.

My need for approval typically generates Problem #1. Whether I have a specific person in mind, a group of people, or some vague sense of society in general, I believe that I would be regarded as "better person" if I changed certain aspects of my character or appearance. I feel pressure to change myself in a way I would not if it were simply "up to me," even if the immediate consequences prove more harmful than beneficial. For example, the reason I have permanent scar tissue on my left shoulder is because I suffered a severe sunburn while trying to become more tan. Because to be tan in our present culture makes one more attractive and thereby "better." I put myself in a situation that conventional wisdom tells us to avoid (exposing fair skin to direct sunlight for several hours) because I convinced myself that something I wanted to do was really something I should do and thus convinced myself that what I "had" to do was worth the potential risks.

My denial typically generates Problem #2. During rare moments of completely honest self-assessment, I will recognize deeply rooted behaviors and attitudes that I must deal with if I am to embody my own level-headed definition of a "better person." Most often, however, denial trumps realization. These revelations are either rationalized into being lesser concerns or they are just willfully repressed. For example, there is an inherent hypocrisy in the fact that I am devoting my professional life to the study of theology and yet I have spent the bulk of my adult life being chronically unchurched. When I am being honest, I know I am continually putting myself at risk of turning my religious commitments into purely academic pursuits as I continually sharpen my intellectual skills but allow my spiritual sensitivities to dull. Whatever connection one might draw between church involvement and spritual sensitivity, the fact remains that Dave Scott is big on theological education but small on personal piety. Yet, what I often tell myself, is that this is not something I should change but it is something I want to change because my evangelical upbringing has conditioned me to believe that church attendence and spiritual authenticity are inseparable. My interior pangs of conscience are reinterpreted as exterior pressures.

But where my true angst arises, where the enormity of the combined power of Problems 1 & 2 is profoundly sensed, is when I feel the urge to change something about myself but I cannot decide how to classify that personal aspect and hence cannot conclude whether I should commit myself to change. My existential anxiety mounts when I consider the serious consequences that a faulty judgment would create. To want to change solely for the approval of others drives one into inauthentic existence or, even worse, dehumanization. To deny change that would truly make one better drives one into egotistic existence or, even worse, spiritual cancer.

I am seeking to identify the proper resources for assessing some of my own urges toward change. Complicating things further is my intuition that these resources are not uniform from person to person nor are they constant for any particular person. The urgency of addressing these matters arises from my growing sense that there might be something fundamentally awry in myself. I need to know if it is truly something about myself that should change if I am to be a better person or if I only want it to change because I feel some deep-seated pressure from unidentified others to conform to their (as yet) unarticulated expectations.

Perhaps in a subsequent post I'll share some specifics on what I'm referring to in this last paragraph. For the moment, however, I'm curious to see what kind of reactions I may get concerning the anthropological/psychological framework I've just articulated. In short, I've attempted a sort of "phenomenology of self-improvement."

Just food for thought.

NFC Championship Fun

I just encountered this article on the NFL homepage. Quite entertaining irrespective of your level of appreciation for professional football.

http://www.nfl.com/news/story?id=09000d5d80614a1d&template=with-video&confirm=true

More Revisionist History...and a Couch!

So let's get the bad news out of the way. The Colts lost their first playoff game at home Sunday. They didn't look awful but they certainly looked far from good and they lost to the Chargers for the second time this season. No AFC Championship rematch with the Patriots, no opportunity to repeat as Super Bowl champions. Nada. 'Nuff Said.

A second matter: I HAVE A COUCH!!! I bought it on Thursday and it was delivered on Friday morning. I've already had friends over three times since I purchased it, and I'm relieved that I can now invite people over to my place without hesitation. Next up: A new bed!

Finally, I wanted to share a few more items from Non Campus Mentis: World History according to College Students. In the book's conclusion, Prof. Anders Henriksson states that, "It is probably safe to assume that every American college freshman knows the following:

1) At some point in the distant past the United States fought a war of independence against a major European or Asian power. An extraordinary Tea Party was a factor.

2) George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, John Kennedy, and Richard Nixon served as presidents of the United States. Washington was the first president and Lincoln also served a long time ago, while the latter two were in the twentieth century. Ronald Reagan and George Bush the First were more recent occupants of the Oval Office. (Jimmy Carter is already off the radar screen for more than a few young scholars of the 2000s.)

3) The United States still suffers from the horrors of its slaveholding past, whenever that was. The Civil War, which took place some time between 1750 and 1930, was mixed up with this.

4) Adolf Hitler (a foreigner of some kind) was a very bad man.

5) There was at least one World War, but absolutely not more than three."

Here's a comment about 20th Century Asia:

"Dim El Sum ruled as 'Head Coucho' of North Korea. China had so many Chinese that forced birth patrol became required. This is where people are allowed to reproduce no more than one half of themselves. Manifest Destiny is China yarning to embrace Thai Won as a kind of imperialist forplay."

And, to conclude, here are some reflections on the Civil Rights movement to get you ready for MLK Day:

"The Civil Rights movement in the USA turned around the corner with Martin Luther Junior's famous 'If I Had a Hammer' speech. Martian Luther King's four steps to direct action included self purification, when you allow yourself to be eaten to a pulp. The wealing and dealing of President Lynda B. Johnson was another important factor."

Bob Sanders: NFL Defensive Player of the Year

Congratulations to the human missile! It's nice to see the man receive some national recognition for all those hard hits. Like I've been saying nearly all season, "Bob Sanders will smack you in the mouth!"

http://www.nfl.com/news/story?id=09000d5d805cea17&template=with-video&confirm=true

Don't lose sight of this accomplishment in the midst of all the Patriots love goin' on these days. Also remember that Reggie Wayne, not Randy Moss, won the receiving crown this year. Go Horse!

Refashioning the Dave

As my regular readers likely know already, I am back in Denver. I'm beginning my second term here at U. of Denver/Iliff SOT, and I've found that the extended winter break oxidized significant portions of my brain. Though I read three books while back home in Indiana, they were all read for entertainment. Now that I've begun an extended period of reading nothing but Plato and Kant (or writings about those two legendary thinkers) I'm realizing how badly my brain has fallen out of shape in 5-6 weeks of lowered intellectual strain.

That makes me real nervous about how 2-months of nearly unopposed atrophy has impacted my muscles, heart, lungs, and so forth. I had set relatively high fitness goals for myself last term and failed miserably to meet a couple of them. My weightlifting was as complete as it's been in years, but I failed to target my midsection as I'd originally intended AND I went yet another year without incorporating any cardio into my weekly routine.

This term things will change. Not drastically, but significantly nonetheless. It's not a New Year's resolution, but more like a new school year resolution that got put off for 4 months. I'm not crazy enough to try to go from undersized offensive lineman to iron man participant in a few weeks. I do, however, need to improve my overall fitness and body composition for my own health and my own sanity.

I'll be 26 years old soon and I'm already having minor pain in my load-bearing joints. I inherited my mother's bad knees and my father's considerable girth. Hurting my right knee two years ago only added to this problematic equation. After years of compensating for bad knees I have conditioned to bear my weight only sporadically during my adult life, my hips are finally feeling the strain and my ankles aren't doing much better. Dropping my weight by 20 or more pounds is practically a necessity at this stage and cardio is the best way to make that drop happen.

Then there's the ever-present social pressure. Every 2 or 3 years, I am strikingly reminded of how important physical appearance is in our culture and social networking. Your body is usually your foremost piece of currency, and while it's psychologically unhealthy to want to look like a movie star or a professional athlete, it's unwise to let your body become an emulation of John Goodman instead. For the last 18 months, I've been leaning substantially more towards the Goodman side of things than the Brad Pitt/Bob Sanders side. In 2004, I realized this and spent the next 8 months getting into the best shape I'd been in since I was in high school. I got new clothes and shoes and started wearing cologne on a regular basis. Increased female interest, kisses, and even a steady relationship soon followed.

Candler Spring Banquet 2005. 2.5 years and 25 pounds ago.

In 2008, I'm wising up again. For Christmas, I received mostly new clothes I hand-picked myself. I plan to get new footwear by the end of the month and, once I've lost a few pounds, I'm going to restock my deteriorating jeans collection. To state my thought process in a nutshell, I want to take control over those less conventionally attractive aspects of my appearance that can be taken control of. The melanin-free skin is a problem I've learned the hard way (on several occasions) that I can't fix. My teeth are naturally crooked and genetically a bit yellow. And I can't alter the fact that I have a large head or that I walk like Shrek. But I can do a hell of a lot more to improve my general appeal by trimming much of the extra baggage and occasionally draping myself in something more stylish than a Slayer T-shirt.



I know I'm not an ugly man. Field tests have shown that women Dave Scott finds attractive can indeed find him to be handsome in return, yea even sexy. However, I'm presently interested in increasing the likelihood of that happening again. I want that little extra sumpin', sumpin' that might push the potential patron from ambivalence over into full-blown interest. The recent pain in my legs and disappointment in my heart are pushing me into my next phase of self-improvement, of refashioning myself into an upgraded version of who I already am. My laugh, my brains, and my sympathetic nature will still be what keeps 'em hanging around but getting 'em to hang around requires drawing 'em in first.

Time to beef up the magnetism, Mr. Scott.

The Interpreted Past

One item I received for Christmas this year was Non Campus Mentis: World History According to College Students. In this book, Professor Anders Henriksson draws together some of the most entertaining and absurd test answers and paper excerpts he (and a few of his colleagues) has collected over several decades of teaching undergraduate history courses. Each section of the book pertains to a major period in Western history. I'm not finished with it yet but here is a primo selection of the humorous offerings I have read thus far:

*Plato invented reality. He was teacher to Harris Tottle, author of The Republicans. Lust was a must for the Epicureans. Others were the Vegetarians and the Synthetics, who said, "If you can't play with it, why bother?"

*Christianity finally became official after the Emperor Constantine's famous Decree of Consternation. Constantine became a Christian himself after being persued by a neon cross on the battlefield. The entire city of Constantinople rose up with a tremendous ejaculation every time the emperor came.

*Medieval people were violent. Murder during this period was nothing. Everybody killed someone.

*The crusades enlarged opportunities for travel. These were a series of military expaditions made by Christians seeking to free the holy land (the "Home Town" of Christ).

*Finally, Europe caught the Black Death. The bubonic plague is a social disease in the sense that it can be transmitted by intercourse and other etceteras.

-It was spread from port to port by inflected rats.

-It was then passed around by midgets.

-Victims of the Black Death grew boobs on their necks.

-Death rates exceeded one hundred percent in some towns.

*This was the beginning of Empire when Europeans felt the need to reach out and smack someone.

*Columbus came to America to install rule by dead white males over the native peoples.

*John Calvin Klein translated the Bible into American so the people of Geneva could read it.

*Deism was the belief that God made the world and then stepped on it. In Deism God has no direct influence on daily life, but just watches like a movie, eating his candy and munching his popcorn.

*[Concering the Industrial Revolution] The social structure was Upper Class, Middle Class, Working Class, and Lowest Poor Scum.

*Sigmund Freud was a shrink who came up with sex reasoning. He said that if the mind says not to have sex and the will will not listen, then the mind will go crazy. Leaders of the women's movement included Florence Nightengail, Susan B. Anthony, and Crystal Pancake. German feminists furthered the whatnot of women. Sufferance was the major goal.

-Feminists argued that sex outside the family would make you go blind or lose your memory.

*Liberals insisted on a lily fair economy where it was hands off the lily.

*The major cause of the Civil War is when slavery spread its ugly testicles across the West.

*Picasso was the famous artist who painted the Mona Lisa. Benito Mussolini was an artist who became overly famous.

*Oscar Wilde, the author of Doreen Gray, was probably the riskiest personage in England at this time.

*Friedrich Nietzsche was a German movie producer who wrote Triumph of the Will and Superman.