Undefined Fascination

I'm sure the all-too-regular apologies I offer for not updating this blog frequently enough have grown stale. I've had several topics I've felt worth mentioning recently: I visited Casa Bonita (the Disneyland of Mexican restaurants), I was in the same room as Bill Clinton, I witnessed former WWE Champion Brock Lesnar make his UFC debut, I decided in a moment of intense self-deprication that I would like to be rid of my literal skin, and I saw No Country for Old Men just the other day. However, I've not shared any of this within the forum of the Kingdom, so maybe a series of bite-sized posts is on the way.

For the moment, I would just like to share the lyrics to a song I've been listening to quite a bit over the past several weeks. I can't precisely identify what it is I like so much about this song. All I know is the headspace it puts me in seems like a place I need to be right now.

The song is "40 Miles from the Sun" off of Bush's album The Science of Things. Bush is a band I've liked a lot for a long time but, for whatever reason, don't talk much about...even with myself. Here are the words, just to give you all a sense of what it may be that's put the hook in me as of late.

"there is nowhere left to hide
there is nothing to be done
no people to be saved
no pets we've never named

40 miles from the sun

as darkness craves the mind
we come undone without our pride
no time on earth to come
all the pleasures just begun

40 miles from the sun

in our coats beneath the layers
wash my skin of all the hate
we should sleep late
everything just kind of grates

40 miles from the sun

i need to lose to make it right
i'll confront the stars tonight
i will babble i will bite
you'll never know how much you shine

40 miles from the sun"


As I prepared to write this post, I wondered whether the image of being 40 miles from the sun resonates with me in the same way the last few lines of the following Soundgarden song have always resonated with me. For twelve years, I've continually turned to this song in moments of mellowness or even sadness...times when "something" seems out of joint or has failed to live up to expectations. "Boot Camp" has always stood for me as a reminder that even when the world seems irredeemably confounding, or even outright shitty, there remains a flicker of hope in me. Like "40 Miles from the Sun" the descriptions are poetic and most the lines have their impact in the absence of any clear logical sense. Again, it just transports me to a place most songs can't.

"I must obey the rules
I must be tame and cool
No staring at the clouds
I must stay on the ground
In clusters of the mice
The smoke is in our eyes
Like babies on display
Like angels in a cage
I must be pure and true
I must contain my views

There must be something else
There must be something good
Far away
Far away from here
Far away
Far away from here
?I'll be here for good?
For good"

I can only speculate as to why either of these songs call out to me at this moment in my life.