The Roaming Teacher: What's in a Name?

After two months of work as a substitute teacher, I'm still discovering new aspects of the job. I've presided over every grade in elementary school (including preschool), and yet I sense that I have not even begun to exhaust the remaining possibilities for novel classroom experiences.

Case in point: Just this week I began excepting a peculiar type of assignment. The assignment I speak of is that of the roaming teacher. I had seen it listed many, many times before but never accepted such a position because I was under the impression that I would receive less pay it than I would for a "regular" job. Having recently learned from a veteran sub that this belief is an ill-begotten fallacy, I decided to explore the world of the roamer.

[In order to make sure the reader and I are on the same page, perhaps I should say a few words about the duties of roaming teachers. These teachers are substitutes who are brought in to cover multiple, partial assignments in the same day. So if a particular school was going to have one teacher gone for the first half of the day, and another who would be absent for the second half, the administration has the option of bringing in a roaming teacher to cover both absences rather than dealing with the potential hassle of bringing in two separate subs.

Another common instance where this position is offered is when a school needs its faculty to attend certain important meetings. In this situation, the regular teacher leave their classrooms for a few hours, and a roaming teacher is brought in to cover for them until their return. When that regular teacher returns, the roamer goes to another class and the process repeates. This is the scenario of which Dave Scott was a part these past two days.]

I don't know who chose the name "roaming" teacher, but I think they made a poor choice. Reasonably enough, these subs can be regarded as "roaming" insofar as they move from one classroom to another throughout the school day. So the term is certainly appropriate. But I still don't like it.

To me, "roaming" has a pejorative connotation. When I think about of "roaming teacher," I think of "wandering" teacher, "aimless teacher" or, to push the creepy factor up a bit, "lurking teacher." I have the image in my mind of an discombobulated individual weaving through the halls of an elementary school committing random acts of education. As long as the point of the term is to note the movement of the substitute, I think "mobile teacher" would be more appropropriate nomenclature. "Mobile" is neutral in connotation. It's sterile, safe. Even still, "mobile teacher" sounds a bit too stodgy.

That's why I've invented my own unique term for the position I've held the past two days. The roaming teacher goes has no prior knowledge of which grade levels one will work or how many. This sub must go where the front office tells them, when the front office tells them. Thus I call the roaming teacher "The K6 Bitch." Granted, being called a bitch isn't any less negative than being a roamer, but it sure is a lot funner. And there's certainly nothing uptight or white bread about it.

"Bitch" most often smacks of condescension and misogyny, but it can also indicate submissiveness and obedience. Aren't these qualities administrators would want in their subs? Especially ones as dependent on the office for direction as the roamers are? So K6 Bitch strikes me as not only simultaneously offensive and entertaining, but a fundamentally fitting descriptor. And it'd look great on bumper sticker:

"Proud to be a K6 Bitch in Wayne Township!"

In a future report, I'll share some bitchy anecdotes with all of you. But, because this post is already too long, I'm gonna put the subject to rest for the time being. I hope this read has been more entertaining than burdensome.